My hero Albert Einstein once said,
“The most important decision we make, is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile Universe”
Our answer to this question might be a product of the kind of attachment we had as babies (insecure childhood attachment/ neglect /abuse can lead many to create a worldview that we live in a hostile world), or other life experiences might wear us down from time to time and that’s understandable. But fundamentally, what do you believe?
Being a self-confessed eternal optimist, I suppose that you can guess that I believe in a friendly universe, but it’s more than a belief. I know it’s friendly. But…..
“The Universe is friendly but it can be a tough-love kinda friendly! ” Sharon Lawson
Often in client sessions I explain that life isn’t meant to be all plain sailing – because an easy life doesn’t facilitate your evolution as a soul. Indeed, some of us have even chosen “difficult” families in order to fast-track our evolution in this lifetime!
So when I saw Vishen Lakhiani of Mindvalley promoting a course the other day, it made me smile because the analogy expressed in their video promo and the one I often use is very similar:
If you ask a child what food it wants to eat – the child, being a child and by their very nature pleasure-seekers – will want ice-cream (my adult version of this is still – if I didn’t care about my health, I’d probably just eat pizza and crisps every day!)
But you as an adult wouldn’t give a child ice-cream every day even though they want it because it doesn’t have any nutritional value to help them to grow big and strong! As a loving adult, you would give them vegetables to help them to grow. The child may demand ice-cream, but you give them vegetables because you’re looking out for them more long-term (and they can’t imagine right at that moment the longterm implications of just eating icecream all the time!).
It’s the same with the Universe and you. You’re the child who wants only pleasure and the Universe gives you that, just not every day: because you need to eat your vegetables to grow!
But hey, that doesn’t mean that vegetables are bad – you can love vegetables too you know (I’ve been vegetarian for almost 30 years now so I love vegetables! I get super excited whenever I see vegetables in the supermarket)!
Vegetables, like growth experiences, don’t have to be viewed negatively or considered any less desirable than ice-cream. It all depends simply on your perspective.
I don’t have many goals in life anymore because I surrendered my goals and just asked the Universe to lead and I’d follow. That kind of surrender has many amazing benefits, but it is based on trust that the Universe will deliver me what I need to grow, even if I wouldn’t necessarily have chosen it myself.
I can do this because I have built up deep trust with the Universe and now I don’t have to ask ” Is the Universe friendly?” because I know it is. It just doesn’t always give in to all your immature wants! (As we grow spiritually we move from “immature wants” of wanting physical stuff for ourselves and broaden into “mature wants” of helping others and easing the suffering of others).
But I’m OK with a bit of tough love. I’m OK with difficulties showing up, because these days if I had any “goals” any more it would be this: to grow/evolve as much as possible (spiritually) in this lifetime.
Therefore, I know this means making friends with whatever shows up (instead of avoiding or resisting it) is the easiest way through any adversity.
So I welcome difficulty. I’m no scared of it, I don’t avoid it, I’m like Bruce Lee/ Morpheus – I wave difficulty towards me and say, “come on in”.
I don’t always love it at the time, but I always look for the gift of growth and seeing life’s adversities as a gift is most definitely a more peaceful way to deal with them.
Even though there are 18 centuries(!) between us, I love the Stoics attitude to life.
Seneca wrote a whole essay/book called “On the shortness of life. Life is long if you know how to use it” in it he argues that if you focus solely on pleasure and not on growth then life will seem very short to you at the end of your days because although it will have been pleasurable it will have flitted by meaninglessly. But if you seek growth and enrichment, it will feel full, rich and long on your deathbed with a sense of accomplishment.
I love the ancient Greek philosophers- they looked around them and questioned which was the best way to live. They didn’t take life for granted, they wanted to discuss and decipher the best possible way of living and to then commit to this as a means of doing justice to the life they had been gifted. I’m with them, consciously choosing doesn’t mean you always end up with the most “fun” experience, but you definitely end up with a life full of transformational and rich experiences. There is plenty of joy in a plate of vegetables too!
One of the things I try to impart to my clients is the acceptance that life is meant to have difficulties. It’s not an accident, it’s not a flaw in the plan- it’s intentional – because growth and soul evolution is central to why life exists and it is adversity which acts as a catalyst. So rather than worrying, avoiding, resisting “problems” – we should embrace them – because doing else with them is a waste of time and energy!
That’s a key part of understanding of “acceptance of what is”.
So can’t we just accept that vegetables are good for us and enjoy them rather than consistently dreaming of ice-cream?!
I have been vegetarian for nearly 30 years (next year), I love vegetables, I’ll take vegetables any day over ice-cream. I really would!
How about you? Can I tempt you to join me in loving growth over pleasure?!
If you would like help to appreciate and learn from your difficult experiences, why not consider 1-2-1 sessions with Sharon?
You can arrange a Free Consultation Call by clicking here to see how Sharon can help you create new positive perspectives about life and how you feel about your difficulties.
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