Understanding & Seeing the Light through my Winter Blues.
I’ve never been a “Winter” person. I call myself a “Summer baby” because I was born in June and it feels like being born in Summer isn’t a coincidence: it’s 6 months to Christmas and then it cycles 6 months to my birthday and my Gemini nature likes the balance of the 2 halves!
I have never understood the Gregorian calendar that deems January to be the “Start of the Year” – it makes zero sense to me as I can’t fathom how Winter can herald the start of anything! Surely, Spring is the Start of things? In Winter, we rest, recoup, imagine and plan – who the hell starts things in the middle of Winter?!
I (literally) spring back into life, all hopeful and full of energy in March. That’s always felt more natural to me.
So I think, it’s fair to say that Winter and I have not been on the friendliest terms. In recent years, I’ve turned into some weird Grinch from Game of Thrones and by July I’m already lamenting “Winter is coming” as I try and squeeze every ounce of joy out of the remaining daylight hours! (Yes, I start in July, despite telling myself I’ve got plenty of time left!)
In the past I’ve felt guilty for not springing into action in January. But I had just come to accept that “I’m just not a Winter person” and created as many Winter strategies as I could to distract me from my Winter Blues.
I’ve had a “daylight” (SAD) lightbulb in my office for a couple of years now. On a gloomy Winter day, I found that it helps with my motivation,
I’ve tried to learn from other nations who have Winters which are much harsher and bleaker than my own. For example, I really like Hygge the Danish art of simple cosiness.
And I have created my own personal strategy of watching Death in Paradise (BBC1) set in the Caribbean each week in January with a roaring fire going, sitting in shorts and a t-shirt, drinking Rum and Pineapple and pretending I’m in the Caribbean! This one ritual has made January bearable!)
Then one day, I pondered to myself why Winter was such a huge struggle. I wanted to try and figure out why I’m such an unmotivated Winter misery guts!
I’m kinda ok with cold and even rain.. I don’t love it but I’m ok with it.
Then it hit me!
I realised that it was the lack of light that bothered me the most. Sure the daylight hours are shorter in the Winter so you can get less done outside, which is a bit of a bummer, but what I was feeling wasn’t the practical loss of ”daylight hours”, it was something more emotional than that… And that’s when it got really interesting.
It suddenly it dawned on me, that it wasn’t just because I like sunny warm weather that I was a hermit in the Winter, but because in many cultures, especially ancient cultures, the Sun represents God.
When I can’t see the Sun in those dark cloudy, gloomy months, I miss what I subconsciously equate to the Light of God. When I can’t see the Sun, I feel alone (abandoned even!) and when I get even a glimpse of sunshine I instantly perk up because I feel seen, loved and nurtured/held by the Sun. This was all subconscious. But when it rose up into my consciousness it suddenly all made sense!
The core of my Winter Blues was my lack of connection to the Light!
The more I thought about it Diwali in November is the Festival of Light for the same reason as it symbolizes the inner light that protects from spiritual darkness and victory of light over darkness, knowledge over ignorance, and good over evil.
Now I understood this, something changed! I became empowered…It’s MY CONNECTION with the Light, so I have the power to change my relationship with Winter!
Just realising that this is at the heart of my Winter grumpiness has really improved my Winter Blues.
There’s something quite powerful that happens when something that is buried deep in your subconscious rises up into your conscious awareness to be seen and witnessed.
And just understanding how my Winter emotions are tied to my connection to the Universe/God/Spirit/ Light has made all the difference because I know that it’s silly to think that just because the Sun isn’t shining brightly, that the Universe has abandoned me- as if it ever could! And I also know of my own power to radiate light these days for myself.
For those of you who share my Winter Blues and also feel that the lack of Light is at its core, I have come up with some light based strategies for moving through Winter with more ease and grace:
- When indoors get as much light as you can – Natural Daylight Bulbs are good, but any light, including candles or decorative lighting are good sources of light (especially with high energy prices this year) and add both to the feeling of being surrounded by light but also has a bit of a hygge cosiness to it.
- If like me, you have this weird sense of lack of connection with the Divine when it’s dark, then candles also represent the “spark” of the Divine in all of us, so candles can make a good remembrance.
- Smelly Candles or Aromatherapy candles/essential oil burners with favourite outdoor or flora smells also brings the outside in. I personally love the smell of Jasmine, Magnolias and Sakura (cherry blossom) which all remind me of Spring and Summer, and they really do elevate my mood by releasing happiness chemicals within me.
- Meditation is an obvious way of maintaining our connection with the Divine – but any ritual where you are undistracted by the physical world, and you get to bask in the light and love of the divine is a way of maintaining your connection. Pioneer members have 3 live Meditation calls coming up this Winter so we can enjoy this together!
- Sacred dance, yoga and Chi Gung to name but a few are ways to move energy and stay connected. I have started Whirling this year (Sufi Dance, like whirling dervishes but not as skillful currently!) and as all of nature spirals, even if you decide to whirl without any instruction (like you did when you were a kid), I reckon that is still a wonderful exercise in connecting with nature and the Divine!
- Going outside in daylight hours for a walk, exercise, light gardening, cup of tea/coffee, or take up an outdoor hobby so that you have a “reason” to go out and soak up any sunlight you can naturally. Vitamin D deficiency is common in January/Feb so it’s good for your health – and if you can’t face going out at least try and stick your head out of the window or door for 5 minutes!
- Now I never thought I would ever say this, but for the first time in my life, I’ve been waking up naturally early – or I should say, I’ve been waking up un-naturally early – around 4am/5am. And being wide awake I have taken to getting up and working at this time (I also have had building work going on at my house in the daylight hours all Autumn and so it’s the only time I got any peace in the day!) and I’ve noticed that being awake before sunrise and then noticing the day lighten and sometimes even catching a bit of the early dawn sun… has actually been a very lovely experience I never thought I would enjoy! I know that there’s a “5am club” for insane business owners and entrepreneurs – but I always assumed they were trauma motivated which made them get up at ungodly hour! I’m not suggesting you set an alarm, but if like me you have more broken sleep than you’d choose for yourself, then experiencing the sunrise can be a more lovely start to the day than you might realise. When I awake naturally with the morning sun (even though I can’t see it in the Winter) I find I have more energy not less. And I have much more vigour in the day. I genuinely expect to need an afternoon nap, but I don’t usually need one compared to my 4pm slump when I wake up at 7.30am. It’s certainly not for everyone and a good night’s sleep is very important for your health, so only if you naturally awaken rather than dozing back to sleep, why not try what rising with the sun feels like?
- Having a Morning Routine of affirming that although you can’t see the sun, you know it’s there and then visualising the sun and its warmth on you. Your mind doesn’t know the difference between imagining and doing, so you can fool it into releasing Summer happy chemicals in the Winter (that’s what my Caribbean weekly ritual does too).
- In the membership I have quite a few meditation/visualisations where you see yourself as light. Being Light is part of our transfiguration practice and it’s also where we evolve to recognise the light within ourselves and not externally. But this is a practice and so on the days where you can, you can just remember that you ARE the light you perceive to be missing and you can fill yourself with light and not be concerned with the external lack of sunlight, as you can radiate your own light and this inner light is all you need to feel complete.
I know that many people are “Winter People” and don’t love the Summer. Much in the same way that some people are “morning people” and others are not! We don’t all have to like or thrive in the same conditions, so even if after reading this you’re not convinced by Winter, that’s ok!
But for me, it was a real revelation! And it has transformed how I feel about Winter. I still need strategies; I’m not going to deny it. It’s a work-in-progress still as I still prefer the Spring and Summer! But, with this new understanding, at least Winter and I are progressing down the friendship route at last!
Let me know what strategies you have for the Winter (so I can embrace them too!)
Have you pondered about the source of your Winter Blues and had any revelations? I’d love to hear from you!